I should sleep. I think I am shedding new skin. In this cocoon, I don't know what will come out of it.

When I was little I use to talk to myself. I use to create a fake talk show in my head and talk to myself as if I were the talk show host and then I would answer the questions. Or sometimes I would pretend that I was just talking to an audience, any audience.

Even though I know nobody was there, I think believing that there was helped me a lot. I use to wonder what other people thought about, if what I was thinking about was normal.

Something is happening to me. I can feel the hostility inside of me growing. The even more longing desire to be even more detached from society and reality all together.

I want to open doorways I never thought I could. I want to see what is on the other side.

I can feel something physically overcoming me.

Someone once randomly told me that if you hear someone calling your name but no one is there not to answer. I answer anyways.

What is the point of anything. What does it matter.

I feel the vibrations of everything around me. Sometimes I can feel it in my stomach when I hear someones voice. That potentially  growing hostility that grits my teeth glimmer shine in the moonlight.

I want to start a cult. I want to start a cult and be nice to my follower and they be nice back to me. I want to be in a group where we live a higher purpose and survive the end of the world when it comes. I am not talking about any kind of 2012 bullshit either. I am talking about aliens and the supernatural and everything in between.

I dont feel like myself when I write this but I do and I feel like it needs to be done.No one reads this anyways.

I feel dizzy now.

I feel like I need to stop, I have to stop.